Tuesday, September 18, 2012

From Foster to Adopt: 5 Action Steps towards a Successful Adoption.

1.      If the child you are adopting has already been in foster care in your home then research has proven these adoptions are the most successful.

2.      Emotional investment:  The child you are adopting often comes from a prior home environment that has caused the child to have an insecure attachment. (due to situations of loss, neglect, abuse and trauma) and so it is important for the adopting parent to understand that she/he has become  the most important person for positively or negatively influencing the on-going developing brain and nervous system of the child. The earlier the age of the child when being adopted, the more opportunity there is to interrupt insecure attachment patterns. It is a big plus for the child, if the adopting parent has made friends with the excellent, the good, the bad and the ugly parts of himself or herself.  All will be revealed in this relationship, in a way that you, the parent,  have never experienced before!

3.      Don’t take it personally!  When the child is reacting to you or a stressful situation.

4.      Know how to hold on to yourself and hold on to your child during the excitable times and the stressful times. 

5.      Be kind and empathic and understanding at your best and when you are not able to be at your best set firm limits for yourself and your child.    Know how you manage stress. Take a break when you need one ( sometimes it takes just  a pause of 10 breaths)  and don’t wait for the ‘right time’ as your nervous system is saying the right time is NOW.  

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