Monday, November 8, 2010

Answering questions about adoption

November is National awareness adoption month. One of the most informative and wonderful sites about adoption on the web is , as it covers the whole vast spectrum of adoption and topics about adoption. This morning I was reading an article about "Questions come with the territory" by Leigh Schindler Powell.

As an adoptive parent , born in England and living in America whom adopted my daughter from China, I get many opportunites to educate and inform strangers and friends and relatives on a daily basis about adoption - if I choose to. I say choose to, as one thing I taught my daughter right off the bat , was that we always have a choice about whether to answer a question when asked, depending on how the question is asked and who is asking. These are also opportunites to advocate for my child's positive sense of self as these are times when she feels that she is different and our family is different.

I am reminded of the times in the local Mill Valley park when children would innnocently come up to me and ask if I was the nanny and I would proudly say "no I am her mother". Then there was the time when an adult stranger ,who out of the blue, asked me 'how much did she cost?' Initially, I felt surprised and angry at her insensitive question but then I replied that my daughter is priceless and moved on. However, my daughter, who was about 5 , and I had a very juicy and interesting conversation later on at home as her wonderful bright ,curious and observant Nature, had been really chewing on this comment and wanted more information. It was one of those times when the adoption photos came out and I told her story again, in a new way.

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