The power of being witnessed is a profound gift in a relationship. Recognition, Acknowledgement and Encouragement is like gold,( or a good fertilizer for growth!), compared to a lecture; advice or sympathy 'for what you must have gone through'. As an adult just take a moment and think about those most transformative times in your life where you have shared yourself - your depths -with another person or people who know you well, without judgement, just presence. It is often a still, silent experience for the listener, or a few reassuring sounds of acknowledgement, while you share your soul. What does that feel like to you? What does it feel like to be considered precious and contributing something important to the relationship and the world?
So, lets talk about a relationship between a parent and a child and in particular a foster/adopt child. A parent/child relationship that provides security and safety no matter what occurs with the energetic push/pull of attachment. There is an immense transformative power in having a parent know you deep down and recognize your potential as a human being in the world even when you doubt yourself - even when you sometimes doubt your existence.
There is a beauty in showing up for a child and expressing care for that child even when the child may try to saboutage the intimacy and closeness of the relationship because she is petrified of what dependency on and closeness with an adult might mean.
Witnessing with understanding and without judgment is the beginning of
changing a world view that may have been shaped by hurt and pain. Witnessing a child is the beginning of helping that child be known from the inside out. And being truly known in another person's eyes is a powerful gift.